I don’t know how to be my best me without her

So Ash and I broke up again. It isn’t my intention to pine about personal matters here, but just a few days ago I did decide to make an effort to maintain this site far better than I have in the past, and this sad turn of events is bound to dismotivate me and make maintaining an online travel and thought journal a bit difficult. I mean, I could write pages and pages about how sad I am and the loss I feel, but such writing would probably only interest me and at the moment I don’t feel that I have any particularly brilliant insights on love and relationships that could be of any benefit to anyone.

That being said, it’s nice to know that Yin and Yang are still fast at play in my life. On the same night that Ash and I had what will probably be our last conversation for quite some time, a friend whom I have not heard from in years sent an unexpected e-mail letting me know she was alive and well (two things that, unfortunately, I wasn’t sure were true).

Additionally, yesterday I found out that we will definitely be working until the end of the month (yay guaranteed money) and may work through part of June as well (yay more money). Which means that today I send in my final payment for the mapping project in Pompeii that I have wanted to go to for the last two years: Pompeii Food and Drink.

And, to distract me from sadness and serendipity, I think I am going to a Pirate Festival today. Oddly, about three years ago, before I met Ash, I began work on a novel (that I have barely touched in the last two years) that is about a pirate. A very special pirate, who, ironically, falls in love with a much younger woman, who, though she loves him dearly, leaves him at the end of the book.

Arrrrgh! A pirate’s life is not for everyone.